by Robbo Bennetts

Here I am sitting awkwardly on a plank out the back at Torquay surf beach. I am planning my 50th birthday party while I wait for a set. Surprisingly for a Sunday, when the waves are clean and peaking at 4 to 5 feet, there are only a few of us long-boarders out here.

Surf is a great leveller. You never know who you will meet out the back. John Thwaites. Tim Winton. Michael Klim. But today I am sharing the waves with a motor mouth whose celebrity escapes me.